What You Should Know Before You Choose to Homeschool
There are many, many articles out there circulating the blogosphere on this subject. I'm not going to tackle the issues of qualifications, curriculum, teaching techniques, state laws, learning styles, etc. Others have already tackled those issues and those articles are easy to find if you look for them. Instead, I'd like to talk about the things that are necessary to homeschooling that cannot be earned from a college, a university, a PhD, educational training, etc. The things I will refer to must be found in one's character and resolve. I'm no expert, nor do I claim to be. These are just a few things I've learned in my 5+ years of homeschooling. Ok, here we go...
1. You cannot give one shit about what anyone else thinks. Not one. single. shit.
If you haven't already, be prepared to be bombarded by other people's opinion about your choice to homeschool. Even though they may not have a clue about your child, his/her needs, or your capabilities, they're going to offer their opinion anyway. You've done your research. You know you kid and what kind of learning environment is best for him. Still, you need to be prepared to handle any and all comments. Some will be positive and encouraging and others will not. Some may bring up the old "socialization" myth (which is so beyond ridiculous...see here). A person of weak mind will buckle and fold under such scrutiny. A person who is confident and believes in what she is doing will reach her goals, no matter what others may think.
2. You cannot be afraid to go against the status quo.
The number of homeschoolers in America is rapidly growing (see here) and it's not just the religious folk jumping on board. Parents are homeschooling for many reasons these days and many are frustrated with the current public school system. However, homeschooers are still not the norm. You need to be okay with the fact that little Johnny isn't outside at the bus stop at 7am with all the other kids on your block (in reality, you're totally fine with that because while all the other moms were doing the morning shuffle, you were quietly sipping your coffee in your jammies and surfing Facebook. Your school doesn't start until 9ish and you don't have to dress for it unless you want to). Once you realize that you're "alone" in this crazy decision, you'll seek out other weirdos like yourself who have actually CHOSEN to be with their children 24/7, 365 days a year AND educate them. You'll join a local homeschool group and after a time you and your kids will have so many friends and fun, educational activities that you'll forget that you're a weirdo and a new norm will form.
3. You have to care about your child's education. A lot.
Okay, don't go reading between the lines and all. I'm not suggesting that moms who do not homeschool do not care about their children's education. I think it's safe to say that every sane parent cares a whole hellavalot about their child's education. However, there are some parents who simply hand their children over to the state and expect them to do all the work. They take no involvement whatsoever. I know this because nearly half of my homeschool friends are former public school teachers. You cannot have this sort of lackadaisical attitude while homeschooling and expect to succeed. You have to care and you have to be prepared to work and work hard.
4. You must accept the fact that not everyone will be impressed with your position as a home educator.
Picture this for a moment, the all important, obligatory Company Party. You're dressed to impress and prepared to grace the arm of your corporate hubby as he prepares to schmooze the higher-ups. You are seated at a large, round table full of your hubby's corporate cubicle mates and the introductions begin. The HR director seated at the table is Sarah, who has earned the respect of nearly everyone in the company. She is a straight-up, modern career woman, no doubt. Next up is Madeline, the IT guy's wife. She's a lawyer. Following Madeline is Diane the receptionist. Not quite as impressive as the first two, but she does get paid for her work, at least. Then comes Jennifer the pediatric nurse, then Rebecca the stay-at-home mom of 2 twin babies (everybody gets why she stays at home, because twins), and then there's Amy the sales rep.
Last up is you. The Homeschooler.
The wha?? You'll get a few polite nods, a few quizzical stares and maybe even a genuine, curious inquiry or two. Your cheeks blush a bit and then you begin to wonder what on God's green earth you were thinking (of course, you were thinking about how homeschoolers consistently outperform their public school counterparts and of how your kids get the luxury of a 1:1 teacher to student ratio AND about how you can tailor their education to their learning style and pace and interests.... But none of that comes to the front of your mind at that moment because your position still does not hold the same social status and weight as the others do).
Yeah. You've got to be comfortable with what you've chosen to do. Own it. Toot your own goddamn horn if no one is going to toot it for you. You're a badass for choosing to take on the challenge of educating the young minds of your children.
A BadAssMotherfucker.
Don't worry too much about this, though. For the most part, I've received kudos from complete strangers when they find out I homeschool. In fact, the vast majority of the feedback I've received has been positive. Plus, it helps that I live in a large metropolitan area where there is a large homeschooling community. It's usually only among hardcore career types and perplexed relatives that I sometimes feel inferior and odd.
5. You won't get to brag about your child making the Honor Roll (and you'll miss out on the bumper sticker, too).
You won't get to brag about that because there is no Honor Roll in your school (you've only got 2 students - not all homeschoolers aspire to be like the Duggars. God, I wish I had half the patience of Michelle Duggar. That woman never loses her shit! But I digress....). You won't get to take pictures of your kid at the Boosterthon (whatever the hell that is) and he'll miss out on Field Day and awkward class pictures.
But, here is what you CAN brag about:
Your child is in multiple extra-curricular activities such as art class, golf, dance, taekwondo, chess club, scouts, 4-H and choir. Your child takes classes at the local science museum and nature center. In addition, your child has competed in science fairs, international festivals and has had his artwork shown in your homeschool association's art gallery showing. You've taken field trips to NASA, the zoo, archaeological digs, salt marsh excursions led by university professors, sea turtle sanctuaries, helped in forest conservation work with your scout group and have taken advantage of family vacations by studying the areas you plan to explore (coral reefs, national forests, etc.)
Sounds like quite the brag-list to me. Talk it up!
6. You have to be okay with missing out on the Ladies Who Lunch group.
You'll never know the joy of a quiet home when the kids go off on that yellow bus. You won't have time to get all prim and proper to meet your mommy friends after yoga class for brunch, sans kids, lookin' all posh in your Lulu's. Sorry. But don't despair. Not only are your kids going to be greatly socialized, you will, too. Once you join a homeschool group and meet other crazy moms like yourself, you'll make new friends and... you might even lunch together - with your kids. Every now and then you'll meet up in the evenings for a kid-less night and laugh and talk over food andvodka wine. You can even wear your Lulu's. The best part is you'll miss out on all the PTA drama and you won't have to play the comparison game with Polly Perfect and her Perfect Popular Offspring.
7. You have to be okay with not having a clue about what's popular.
Homeschoolers are sometimes accused of looking a little, um, odd. I'll admit it's true. You see, their sense (or lack thereof) of style isn't determined by an elite, wealthy, popular group of students. It's determined by what they like and by what their parents are willing to buy them. Some of these kids are lucky. Their hip homeschooling mama has a killer sense of style and she passes this on to her posh offspring. Others aren't so lucky. They wear whatever hand-me-downs they're given and mom is so busy that she doesn't notice that little Timmy needs new jeans until someone asks if he's wearing capris for boys. The good news is NO ONE CARES. Yep, that's right! Just visit a homeschool co-op if you don't believe me. You'll see well-dressed kids playing with frumpy kids and kids wearing pants that are clearly two sizes too small playing with hip, punky-looking kids. No one gives a damn. They simply like what they like. And the moms are just as diverse :)
Homeschooling is not for sissies. This is tough shit and you've got to be thick-skinned any time you choose to do something that isn't the status quo. I'm sure there is more I could add to this list, but I'm tired from trying to explain vowel consonant endings and 5th grade mathematics and I'm ready to watch an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
What do you think? What have I left out?
-L
1. You cannot give one shit about what anyone else thinks. Not one. single. shit.
If you haven't already, be prepared to be bombarded by other people's opinion about your choice to homeschool. Even though they may not have a clue about your child, his/her needs, or your capabilities, they're going to offer their opinion anyway. You've done your research. You know you kid and what kind of learning environment is best for him. Still, you need to be prepared to handle any and all comments. Some will be positive and encouraging and others will not. Some may bring up the old "socialization" myth (which is so beyond ridiculous...see here). A person of weak mind will buckle and fold under such scrutiny. A person who is confident and believes in what she is doing will reach her goals, no matter what others may think.
The number of homeschoolers in America is rapidly growing (see here) and it's not just the religious folk jumping on board. Parents are homeschooling for many reasons these days and many are frustrated with the current public school system. However, homeschooers are still not the norm. You need to be okay with the fact that little Johnny isn't outside at the bus stop at 7am with all the other kids on your block (in reality, you're totally fine with that because while all the other moms were doing the morning shuffle, you were quietly sipping your coffee in your jammies and surfing Facebook. Your school doesn't start until 9ish and you don't have to dress for it unless you want to). Once you realize that you're "alone" in this crazy decision, you'll seek out other weirdos like yourself who have actually CHOSEN to be with their children 24/7, 365 days a year AND educate them. You'll join a local homeschool group and after a time you and your kids will have so many friends and fun, educational activities that you'll forget that you're a weirdo and a new norm will form.
3. You have to care about your child's education. A lot.
Okay, don't go reading between the lines and all. I'm not suggesting that moms who do not homeschool do not care about their children's education. I think it's safe to say that every sane parent cares a whole hellavalot about their child's education. However, there are some parents who simply hand their children over to the state and expect them to do all the work. They take no involvement whatsoever. I know this because nearly half of my homeschool friends are former public school teachers. You cannot have this sort of lackadaisical attitude while homeschooling and expect to succeed. You have to care and you have to be prepared to work and work hard.
4. You must accept the fact that not everyone will be impressed with your position as a home educator.
Picture this for a moment, the all important, obligatory Company Party. You're dressed to impress and prepared to grace the arm of your corporate hubby as he prepares to schmooze the higher-ups. You are seated at a large, round table full of your hubby's corporate cubicle mates and the introductions begin. The HR director seated at the table is Sarah, who has earned the respect of nearly everyone in the company. She is a straight-up, modern career woman, no doubt. Next up is Madeline, the IT guy's wife. She's a lawyer. Following Madeline is Diane the receptionist. Not quite as impressive as the first two, but she does get paid for her work, at least. Then comes Jennifer the pediatric nurse, then Rebecca the stay-at-home mom of 2 twin babies (everybody gets why she stays at home, because twins), and then there's Amy the sales rep.
Last up is you. The Homeschooler.
The wha?? You'll get a few polite nods, a few quizzical stares and maybe even a genuine, curious inquiry or two. Your cheeks blush a bit and then you begin to wonder what on God's green earth you were thinking (of course, you were thinking about how homeschoolers consistently outperform their public school counterparts and of how your kids get the luxury of a 1:1 teacher to student ratio AND about how you can tailor their education to their learning style and pace and interests.... But none of that comes to the front of your mind at that moment because your position still does not hold the same social status and weight as the others do).
Yeah. You've got to be comfortable with what you've chosen to do. Own it. Toot your own goddamn horn if no one is going to toot it for you. You're a badass for choosing to take on the challenge of educating the young minds of your children.
A BadAssMotherfucker.
Don't worry too much about this, though. For the most part, I've received kudos from complete strangers when they find out I homeschool. In fact, the vast majority of the feedback I've received has been positive. Plus, it helps that I live in a large metropolitan area where there is a large homeschooling community. It's usually only among hardcore career types and perplexed relatives that I sometimes feel inferior and odd.
5. You won't get to brag about your child making the Honor Roll (and you'll miss out on the bumper sticker, too).
You won't get to brag about that because there is no Honor Roll in your school (you've only got 2 students - not all homeschoolers aspire to be like the Duggars. God, I wish I had half the patience of Michelle Duggar. That woman never loses her shit! But I digress....). You won't get to take pictures of your kid at the Boosterthon (whatever the hell that is) and he'll miss out on Field Day and awkward class pictures.
But, here is what you CAN brag about:
Your child is in multiple extra-curricular activities such as art class, golf, dance, taekwondo, chess club, scouts, 4-H and choir. Your child takes classes at the local science museum and nature center. In addition, your child has competed in science fairs, international festivals and has had his artwork shown in your homeschool association's art gallery showing. You've taken field trips to NASA, the zoo, archaeological digs, salt marsh excursions led by university professors, sea turtle sanctuaries, helped in forest conservation work with your scout group and have taken advantage of family vacations by studying the areas you plan to explore (coral reefs, national forests, etc.)
Sounds like quite the brag-list to me. Talk it up!
6. You have to be okay with missing out on the Ladies Who Lunch group.
You'll never know the joy of a quiet home when the kids go off on that yellow bus. You won't have time to get all prim and proper to meet your mommy friends after yoga class for brunch, sans kids, lookin' all posh in your Lulu's. Sorry. But don't despair. Not only are your kids going to be greatly socialized, you will, too. Once you join a homeschool group and meet other crazy moms like yourself, you'll make new friends and... you might even lunch together - with your kids. Every now and then you'll meet up in the evenings for a kid-less night and laugh and talk over food and
7. You have to be okay with not having a clue about what's popular.
Homeschoolers are sometimes accused of looking a little, um, odd. I'll admit it's true. You see, their sense (or lack thereof) of style isn't determined by an elite, wealthy, popular group of students. It's determined by what they like and by what their parents are willing to buy them. Some of these kids are lucky. Their hip homeschooling mama has a killer sense of style and she passes this on to her posh offspring. Others aren't so lucky. They wear whatever hand-me-downs they're given and mom is so busy that she doesn't notice that little Timmy needs new jeans until someone asks if he's wearing capris for boys. The good news is NO ONE CARES. Yep, that's right! Just visit a homeschool co-op if you don't believe me. You'll see well-dressed kids playing with frumpy kids and kids wearing pants that are clearly two sizes too small playing with hip, punky-looking kids. No one gives a damn. They simply like what they like. And the moms are just as diverse :)
Homeschooling is not for sissies. This is tough shit and you've got to be thick-skinned any time you choose to do something that isn't the status quo. I'm sure there is more I could add to this list, but I'm tired from trying to explain vowel consonant endings and 5th grade mathematics and I'm ready to watch an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
(image from 'Hooray for Diffendoofer Day' by Dr. Seuss)
What do you think? What have I left out?
-L
Leslie, you rock! All of this is spot on!
ReplyDeleteThis is TRUTH and a fantastic article. Go, girl!
ReplyDelete