He's Not Worth It

I care, I really do.

I'm sorry that you have mistaken my serene countenance for being unconcerned and uncaring.  I promise that I did not intend to come across that way.

You see, a while back I made a very important decision.  It was a revelation, really, and my life hasn't been the same since.   It all began with someone I used to be very entangled with.  His name was Worry.

Worry and I had been together since we were kids.  He was always there for me.  Even though he was a heavy weight to bear, I was drawn to him and never quite able to put him down.  It was an abusive relationship.  In fact, Worry was a thief.  He sought to steal everything that I held dear.  He went after my happiness, my joy, my ability to be content and he kept me from trying new things.  Every where I went, Worry was there whispering "What if..?" in my ear and placing a dismal picture of the future into my mind.  

Strangely,Worry was comfortable.  I realize now that I had become disillusioned.  Worry told me that he'd keep me safe, if I'd only listen to him.  So I did. After some time I began to wonder why I couldn't be content.  Happiness always seemed just beyond my reach.  It wasn't long before I realized that Worry was the problem.  

It was a messy break-up.  He didn't want to leave, but I was resolved. I decided that I could no longer live like that.  I told him that we were through and that he wasn't welcome anymore.  He eventually left, although he rears his ugly head every now and then, lurking in the shadows.

Now that he's gone, I feel lighter.  I can breathe.  Even in the midst of difficult circumstances and hard decisions, I can see the good and appreciate life around me.  I realize that this can sometimes make you think I don't understand the gravity of the situation.  I can assure you that I do.  However, I simply can't let Worry back into my life.  I just can't.

....

The past is gone, the future is unknown and not guaranteed - all we have is right now.  This moment in time is all you have and all you will ever have.  Don't let Worry steal this moment from you.

He's not worth it.

-L